


A like V

by AbandonHope



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, all the feels, alternative ending, canon? i don't know her, spoilers if you haven't reached the 2nd Act
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbandonHope/pseuds/AbandonHope
Summary: Kerry Eurodyne decides to throw V a birthday party, with a surprise.Is he just trying to drag her out of her pity party for one in her apartment, or is his surprise really as preem as promised?
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Comments: 55
Kudos: 242





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction I've wrote and published, so I really hope you guys like it.
> 
> Would love to hear any feedback you have, and I hope you enjoy!

** Chapter One **

V swirled the dregs of her drink around her glass as she leaned half against the bar of the Red Dirt, her head resting on her hand, letting the vibrations from the music flow through the cool metal of the worktop and into her body as she waited for the bartender to pour her next one.

After spending months cooped up in her apartment, watching shitty movies, eating cold burritos and recovering from having her own engram re-write the chip, V had been more than surprised when Kerry had called her on the holo and _told_ her – not asked – that he had organised a birthday bash at the Red Dirt for her and her attendance was required. I mean sure, she'd had visitors, and Kerry had been a lifeline in enabling her to get drunk, release her built up frustration by smashing the shit out of everything in true Eurodyne style and reminisce about Johnny, but she never thought in a million years that Kerry Eurodyne would be organising a birthday party for her.

What might have been weirder was the fact that he had also invited her closest friends. Maybe she just wasn't used to people doing things out of the kindness of their hearts, but it all felt a little surreal.

She was lost in her thoughts as she studied the soft red and purple glow illuminating the edges of her glass, musing on how it reminded her of many an exhausted night of stumbling into her apartment, heading straight for her bed after a job and falling asleep to the sounds of Night City. The soft glow of the neon street lights from her window dancing underneath her eyelids as she drifted off. Of many a night listening to Johnny chastise her for falling asleep fully clothed, dinner neglected, asking her for at _least_ one fuckin' cigarette before she passed out. She would launch a pillow at him and tell him to shut the fuck up, he would chuckle and call her a cunt as it sailed through his engram and hit the wall with a soft thud, and she would drift off with a small smile on her face.

_Johnny._

The thought of him, his _absence,_ she felt it like a punch in the gut. Her fingers tightened around her glass. She'd made it out of Mikoshi alive, the chip re-written by Alt to contain her own engram. She was whole again, but she didn't feel like it.

The music from the band onstage, the animated voices from the people in the bar, strangers, acquaintances and friends alike washed over and around her, but she still felt so alone, and that made her equals parts sad and angry. She'd never really felt alone before – hell, she'd even enjoyed her alone time, but Johnny not being around was like missing a hole in her fuckin' head.

_Why should I miss the ghost of a fuckin' asshole?_

But V already knew the answer to that question. He wasn't just any asshole, he was _her_ asshole. Johnny, who would tell her she looked shit warmed up and made sure she ate something when she'd forgotten to all day in the same breath. Johnny, who would cover her back and alert her to enemies she hadn't spotted so she didn't get another bullet lodged in her fuckin' skull, but would let her gladly stay unaware of an object at her feet when she stumbled into her apartment drunk, just so he could laugh as she tripped and face planted the back of her couch.

Johnny who had been given a second shot at life, Johnny who was the most inherently selfish motherfucker she'd ever met had turned around and _traded it for hers._

Johnny, who had brushed her hair behind her ear in cyberspace, and with more emotion in his voice than she'd ever thought possible, had said his only regret in this life was that they'd never get a happy ending. 

She'd relived that memory, over and over again. She'd thought he'd meant as two chooms, riding through Night City, shooting the shit after another relentless job, like her and Jackie. But when she'd looked in his eyes, she knew he'd meant more. They'd both shared thoughts and emotions, and the closer they'd got on their journey to Mikoshi, the more their feelings for each other had become intertwined. Never needing to – or at least willingly – be spoken out loud.

Until the end. The look on his face as she turned around one last time before she crossed the bridge. The thought of more, and the implications of what could have been, was what kept her awake at night.

She was torn away from her melancholy thoughts when the bartender slid her fresh vodka lemonade over to her. V looked up and forced a smile. V's vision blurred slightly, and she told herself it was the four drinks she'd already had, but as she blinked rapidly she knew that wasn't the whole truth.

Fuck it, she thought. If this was going to be the tone of the evening, a little extra alcohol could only help. Besides, it was her birthday, and V decided if there was ever an appropriate time to get shit-faced, now was definitely it.

“Two shots of tequila too please, choom.”

“Coming right up, chica.”

The bartender came back quickly with her shots. 

_One for Jackie, and one for Johnny._

V threw them back, one after another. Her eyes watered after the second, and a warm flush enveloped her from her head to her toes. She was buzzed, and the alcohol felt like an emotional safety blanket. She couldn’t stop thinking about him, but at least after 6 drinks it hurt a little less. 

As the bartender took away her empties, V felt a familiar presence close in.

“Those are on me.” 

V turned to see the one person who always managed to lift her spirits, Panam. 

“Happy Birthday, V.”

V smiled, a genuine smile this time, and wrapped an arm around Panam's shoulder. V was relieved that was Panam was here. She was like the sister V had never had, and V held her memories with Pan laying awake, shit-faced and laughing underneath the stars in the Badlands as close to her heart as she did with her memories of Jackie. True friendship was hard to find, and Panam was truly an angel. 

A hot-tempered angel with a love for cold beer and fast cars, but an angel never the less.

“Pan! I didn't think you'd make it, 's good to see you.”

Panam laughed, her brown eyes sparkling with warmth, and V earned herself a nudge in her side from Panam's elbow. V chuckled.

“V, I hope you are joking. It's your birthday, of course I'd be here, you're family.” 

Panam took a swig of the Brosephs she had in hand and gave V a sly smile as she leaned her back against the bar. 

“We managed to finish our... business, right on time.”

V arched a brow at Panam's choice of words, and was about to question why she looked like the cat who got the cream when she saw, to her utter surprise, Mitch _and_ Kerry walking through the bar towards them. They were talking in serious tones, glancing every now and again at V, but the noise in the bar was too loud for V to hear them.

_Now this should be interesting_ , V thought as she removed her arm from around Panam and reached for her vodka lemonade, taking a sip, her curiosity piqued. _Since when the fuck were Mitch and Kerry chooms?_

Both of the men broke out into shit-eating grins when they locked eyes on V. Kerry sauntered right over to V, clapping her on the shoulder.

“V! Kid, glad you made it.”

He beamed at her, and shouted to the barman for another round of drinks. Him and Panam shared a knowing look as V readjusted her position, leaning so that her back was against the bar so that she could look at both of them.

“So, now that you're here, I have a preem birthday surprise for you, V. It's gonna blow your fucking socks off, I'm tellin' ya.” 

Kerry settled beside her, taking a drink from the freshly poured round on the bar. He winked before downing it in one go, as her face turned to a look of confusion.

V looked between all three of them, taking another sip of her drink.

“I'm guessin' all of you were involved in this surprise then, huh?”

Panam and Mitch smiled brightly, Mitch chuckling through a freshly lit cigarette. Before they could answer, Kerry banged down his now empty glass onto the bar, and clapped his hands together, looking at the stage. V followed his gaze and noticed that the music had stopped, and a group of stage hands were moving equipment around. Her eyes went wide as she noticed Nancy setting up her keyboard on the stage, followed shortly by Denny.

“Ker, what the fuck...” She looked at him. “You guys are playin' me a birthday gig?”

Ker laughed, clapping her on the shoulder again as he started walking backwards away into the crowd, heading towards backstage.

“You'll see V, like I said, it's gonna be FUCKIN' preem!”

With another wink and a finger pointed at her, he was gone.

V shook her head, smiling, feeling flattered and happy. She guessed she'd had a bigger impact on the people in her life than she previously thought. Hearing some of Samurai's music live on her birthday? It was going to be bittersweet. 

Still, she didn't understand Mitch's and Panam's involvement in this... V fidgeted with her leather skirt and twisted a strand of her long dark hair pensively whilst she waited for the show to start.

* * *

Kerry practically skipped backstage, slamming the doors wide open.

“Everythin' ready to go?” He asked, as he jumped in place, rolling his shoulders and wrists.

“Ready to rock and fuckin' roll.”

Ker looked over to the man sat in the corner, who outwardly appeared cocky and relaxed, cigarette in hand and legs up and resting on an amp.

But Ker knew better, far better. The nervous strum of metal fingers along the sideboard that hadn't ceased since they arrived and the empty pack of cigarettes laying on the floor told Kerry all he needed to know.

He gave his old friend a wide smile and smacked him on the shoulder.

“She's gonna fuckin' love it, Johnny. Now stop brooding, lets' go knock her dead.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your kind feedback so far!
> 
> This chapter is from Johnny's POV, enjoy.

It was like deja vu, sitting in the backstage of a seedy bar, cigarette in hand, impatiently waiting for the band playing before them to finish their set.

Except this time, Johnny was impatient for a different reason. All of Samurai's previous gigs, Johnny had been impatient to get on stage and shred the fuck out of his guitar. To spread his message of vitriol for the corpo scum, to lose himself in the music, and then lose himself in whatever hot young output made their way backstage afterwards asking for an autograph from Silverhand himself. Johnny was always happy to oblige, a carefully balanced slurry of uppers and downers – a well practiced formula – ensuring his impressive cock wouldn't let him down when he was otherwise obliterated.

Shit, he didn't even remember their names, or faces. He had never cared; they were only ever a distraction, an itch that scratched at the never ending urge to feed his ego.

Except now, there was one face that was burned in his mind, etched across his retinas everytime he closed his eyes, that he couldn't forget, that he didn't _want_ to forget.

_V..._

The woman who drove him fuckin' mad. The woman who's head he'd been trapped inside, who he'd grown to know inside and out, every thought, every feeling. The woman who's raucous laugh made him secretly beam with pride when he coaxed it out with a filthy innuendo, or ridiculous quip. The woman who he admired for never giving in to his stupid shit, who would glady give him a vicious fuckin' earful, tell him he was a being a selfish prick.

The woman who had smiles reserved just for _him._ Johnny Silverhand, who had never cared before whether he saw a woman again or not after he'd got what he wanted, or give a flyin' fuck about how they felt, had spent more time than he would ever admit to _anyone_ thinking of ways to get the corners of V's round, full lips to upturn.

He had memorised V's face in it's entirety; every line, every freckle, every expression. The way her left eyebrow would arch when she was about to tell someone _exactly_ how she felt about the stupid shit that was coming out of their mouth.

The way her eyes would sparkle with mischief when she told a dirty joke. The way they would turn from grey-blue to turquoise when they were swollen with tears after she'd angry cried. The way the light danced across their surface as she laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, ruminating on the day's events, while Johnny pretended not to watch her.

V, the woman who was on the other side of the very building he was currently sat in, metres away, who thought he was still dead, his soul trapped in cyberspace forever.

His stomach twisted in knots and the ache in his chest returned as he wondered what expression she'd give him when he made his grand entrance.

What he'd said to her in the cyberspace, their happy ending... Would she _want_ it? Johnny had always been arrogant and impulsive, only making decisions based on whether it would be beneficial for him alone, but now he found himself caring more about what _V_ wanted.

And the ultimate question that burned in the back of his mind, could he give her that happy ending? It was true, he had changed, but an old thought whispered through his mind that he hadn't let escape from it's box for a very long time.

 _Was he good enough? Did he_ deserve _a happy ending?_

 _Shit..._ Johnny shook his head, ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. He finished the last half of his cigarette in one long drag, and stubbed it out underneath his boot. He felt like a fuckin' gonk.

He tried to reassure himself that Panam and the Aldecaldos wouldn't have agreed with and gone through a fuckin' insane stealth op during the initial chaos after V solo'd her way through the tower, to have Alt upload his engram to another chip, rescue his chryogenically frozen corpse from 'Saka's frozen meat library, all funded by Kerry and aided by Rogue, if V hadn't been a goddamn mess without him.

Instead of that thought reassuring him, all it did was fill him with guilt.

_Fuckin' hell V, how bad did I fuck you up?_

His broodings brought him back to the memory of waking up with the worst headache of his life, in a cot in the Aldecaldo camp.

To Panam glaring at him, arms crossed defensively against her chest.

Telling him that they did this for V, not him.

Panam telling him in no uncertain terms that if he used this chance at life to hurt V, she would personally remove his chip and stick it up his ass, making sure he really died this time. Then she'd cut off his cajones, just for good measure, and hang them from the bumper of her Thornton.

Mitch and Saul mirroring her pose at her side, probably trying to add some more muscle to her threat, but Johnny had experienced enough of Panam's wrath through V's eyes. He knew for a fact that the firey nomad would follow through through on her promise.

He smirked as the mental image of Panam enacting her promise flitted through his mind.

When the music stopped and the band before them exited the stage, he found himself glad to be able to busy himself with people watching. His waiting wasn't over yet though. The metal fingers of his bionic arm tapping aimlessly, impatiently, along the metal sideboard he was sat against.

He was hoping that Nancy or Denny, or hell even Kerry, would come and save him from the chaos of thoughts that wouldn't stop swirling around his head, like they had when he'd spent the latter stages of his recovery at Kerry's, drinking, smoking and reminiscing.

He knew they were busy, so he let his mind wander on the same train of thought over to more pleasant memories, reliving their reunion at Kerry's. Their disbelief at having their old friend back, and how _easy_ it was to settle back into the same easy flow as it was before. Except this time, there was less tension. The years had eaten away at any grudges or petty arguments, and he was grateful that even if he was still stuck in this cesspit of a city, that some things hadn't changed.

Until he'd pointed out Denny's gray hairs, and the smart of Denny's slap on the back of his head made him roar with laughter.

Johnny looked up from his lounging positon as he heard Kerry barrel through the doors, and walk over to him. It was still weird, still novel, seeing his old friend from his own eyes. Kerry had changed so much, but Johnny would know his presence anywhere.

He instinctively lit another cigarette as he watched Kerry perform his restless pre-gig stretch routine. Johnny let out a low chuckle at the familiarity of it all.

"Everythin' ready to go?" Kerry asked.

Johnny took another drag. "Ready to rock and fuckin' roll."

Kerry looked down at him, his expression a mixture of amusement and empathy. He smiled wide and smacked Johnny on the shoulder.

"She's gonna fuckin' love it, Johnny. Now stop brooding, lets' go knock her dead."

Johnny scoffed and looked away, rolling his eyes, like a school boy being chastised.

"Of course she will, I'm Johnny fuckin' Silverhand." He lifted his arms up and wide, speaking around his cigarette. "What's not to love?"

Kerry laughed, Nancy catching the tail-end of the conversation as she entered from the door to the stage.

Hand on hip, she stood in front of them.

"Are we sticking to the plan, or are you gonna go 'old Johnny' and do your own thing on us?"

Johnny laughed, bringing his feet down and planting them on the floor, resting his forearms on his knees.

"Chill Nance, I know the drill." He took another long slow drag of his cigarette, smirking as he remembered some of his antics at previous Samurai shows, stealing the show with a perfectly executed guitar solo. Nevermind that it was never at the agreed time, much to his former bandmates' chagrin.

Nancy raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing him. Johnny leaned back and crossed his hands behind his neck.

"You guys start out with Chippin' In. Last chorus of A Like Supreme, I come out for the solo." Nancy's eyebrows lowered, but her hand remained firmly planted on her hip. "C'mon Nance, I'm sober for Christ's sake. Ain't skezzed, like old times."

Although, with the fury of nerves rising in his stomach, Johnny almost wished he was.

"Watchin' you, Silverhand." She said as she headed back out on stage. He caught the slight tilt of her mouth as she turned. His smirk widened. Kerry gave him one last smile and a nod before following after her.

What felt like an eternity later, Johnny heard Chippin' In begin. He rose out of his chair, and headed straight for the bottle of the tequila he'd spied earlier, tucked away behind the side of some boxes.

His mind turned to V again as he popped the top off and took a swig.

He wondered if she still looked the same, if she'd be hiding away in a booth, or standing amongst the crowd. If she was still wearing his dogtags, hand worrying them as though they'd dissapear. 

He wondered about a lot of things, but Johnny wouldn't have to wonder for long. 

"See you soon, Samurai."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys! Had a family emergency, but all is well now.   
> Here is chapter 3, please enjoy <3

V moved away from the bar as she watched Nancy, Denny and the stage hands continue to setup and test their equipment. The lights above the stage erraticly changing colours and positions as it ran through it's test sequence.

It reminded her of when she'd let Johnny borrow her body to play a gig here, how'd stoked he'd been when she'd been willing to hand over the keys with no strings, and the flurry of emotions that hit her from Johnny's engram that told her that despite his outward demeanor, he was touched by the gesture.

She was just finishing her drink and reaching for the next, when she saw a familiar crop of crazy blonde hair bobbing in the crowd, making their way from the entrance of the bar towards her.

"Misty!"

V was ecstatic. She had always had a soft spot for her spiritual friend, and over the last year they had grown closer. Perhaps initially it was out of a sense of duty to Jackie; grieving was never best done alone, and V had felt an obligation to protect the girl that her choom had held so dearly, especially after he had opened his home and arms to her. But perhaps they had also bonded and stayed close because they had both lost people that they had loved, too.

Death was strange in the way it touched a person, the way it altered your life when it unforgivingly sweeps through homes and steals those you hold close. Those who haven't felt the empty spaces left behind could never understand, but for those who had, there was always a silent understanding, a bond.

Some would say that was rules of the game in Night City; win big or lose it all, but the bonds that V had made along the way, the bonds made through pain, through death, the uncertainty of her occupation as a merc, those were bonds that even corpo oppression couldn't break. Someone who had your back in a place where you could be snuffed out by the powers that be for being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, was worth more than any amount of eddies to V.

"Hey V." Misty smiled and enveloped her into a hug, her sage scented hair tickling V's face.

"I got you a little something, since it's your birthday."

Misty handed her a small velvet pouch, V pulled back the delicate drawstings to reveal a beautifully beaded purple amethyst bracelet. A small silver tag hung next to the clasp, a tiny 'V' engraved in the metal.

"Misty, it's beautiful."

Everything that Misty gifted always had a meaning, and for once V wished she had paid more attention on the days when she'd sat in the shop and listened to Misty explain how chakras worked, which crystal connected to a spiritual aspect.

The good days when her and Jackie would plop themselves down at her counter after Vik had patched them up after another job, incense drifting lazily through the air, Misty busying herself with reading Jackie's aura and selecting an array of items to aid in his healing. V listening to them making dinner plans as she tried to remember if she'd eaten her remaining burrito back at her apartment, or if she'd be having takeout that evening.

She looks up and Misty is smiling knowingly, as though she could see the cogs attempting to turn and failing inside V's head. "Amethyst taps into your seventh chakra, V. Your crown, here."

Misty points at the very top of her head.

"Most importantly, it has healing properties, warding you against negative thoughts, and amplifying deep connections."

Misty looks closer at V, squinting her eyes slighty. "It also helps promote sobriety."

She hears a choked cough come from Mitch. V rolls her eyes dramatically.

"Hey c'mon, it's my birthday. You're only 27 once, riiiight? I'm not _that_ drunk." V gives Misty a crooked smile. "Seriously though, thanks Misty."

V put the bracelet on, and grabs her and Misty a drink. Turning back to Mitch and Panam, V decides introductions are in order.

"Guys, this 's Misty. Misty, this is Panam and Mitch."

Panam smiles. "We've already met, V."

V's eyebrows furrow. _What in the fuck?_

"Shit, this an intervention? Here I was thinkin' I'd got dressed up for a party."

Mitch and Panam roar with laughter, Misty rolling her eyes as she shoots V a small smile through a chuckle.

Panam wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, attempting to stifle her laughter as they hear Samurai begin their opening song, and Panam nods her head towards the stage.

"Come on smartass, let's go get a better view."

The bottle of tequila had done nothing to calm his nerves, in fact all it had done was amplify the writhing pit of anxiety in his stomach.

He paced back and forth, cigarette in hand, scenario upon scenario furiously racing around his mind.

What if he fucked it up? He'd screwed up every other shot at happiness, always pushing them away, running like a wild animal as he felt the first wall begin to crumble.

Johnny held the bottle to his lips, and growled in frustration when he realised it was empty. His metal fingers tightened around the glass, and he threw it at the wall in anger. Glass showered down the wall, but the noise was deafened by the music coming from the stage.

He wanted it so badly, fuck it was all he could think about, but he was Johnny Silverhand. He wasn't remembered fondly. He wasn't remembered for his kindness, or for charity.

He was remembered for being a fucking terrorist, for the countless deaths he'd left in his wake to fulfill his visions of a better world and for his vengeance, his reckless instability.

That was his legacy, he'd seen it through V's eyes, heard it through the mouths of the ghosts of his past.

He would dissapoint her sooner or later, or worse, she'd end up like Alt. He couldn't do that to the woman who he had watched claw her way to survival, no matter how badly he loved her.

He'd leave now, he decided. He'd take the backdoor and dissapear into the night.

His heart pounding, the feeling of nausea rising, he takes one look back at the stage door and walked through the door leading to the hallway as he heard the last chorus of Chippin' In.

He's halfway down the hallway, stewing in his rage and shame when he hears a cold laugh.

_Fuckin' great..._

"So you're just gonna walk away from it all, huh? Always running when shit gets too real. Nice, Johnny, real nice."

Rogue was leaning against the wall in front of him.

"Fuck you." He growled. "What are you, my fuckin' babysitter?"

She moved away from the wall, standing in front of him, arms crossed.

"Fine. Go."

Rogue gestures to the door to outside at the end of the hallway and then moves closer to him, her expression angry.

"But I'll tell you one thing, Johnny. If you leave, you don't get any more chances, you're gone for good. I don't ever want to see your fucking face in Night City again."

He could feel the vemon dripping from her voice, and even though he knew he deserved it, hell all he had ever done was just take, take and take, that fact did nothing to still the rage inside of him. She jabbed a finger into his chest.

"This is the last time we collectively clean up your goddamn mess. You're done fucking up the people who look out for your selfish ass. God knows we've all suffered enough for your mistakes. If you go, you stay dead, especially to her."

He knew she meant V.

He knew he had a choice to make, and he had wrestled with it since he had woken up. He was at a crossroads; he could go and pick up where he left off, to continue his campaign of self-destruction and nihilism, or he could stay. Stay for the happy ending that he had played over and over again in his mind when he thought he'd be trapped in cyberspace forever, the only thing that had brought him comfort. That in another life, he would maybe have allowed himself to have.

He had never thought for a second that it would actually happen, that he would wake up back in his own body with a chance to make it a reality.

With that reality, again came the dread that he would do _something_ to fuck it up, like he always did.

Johnny knew deep down that she was right, though. He really was his own worst fuckin' enemy.

"Goddamnit Rogue, I-"

"Save it, Johnny. I've had fifty years to get over your shit. V? She's still grieving."

Fuck he hated talking about his feelings. He'd spent years hiding them behind wall after wall, and trying to break those down now made him feel physically sick. He wanted to shout at her, insult her, anything to make this conversation stop, but he didn't.

"I know I've fucked up. Pulled some shady shit on too many of the people I care about. That's why I'm leavin'. V gets to live her life without my bullshit, everyone is happy."

Rogue rolls her eyes.

"Goddamnit Johnny! You really are fucking useless, even when shit is staring you straight in the face. Stop with the fucking self-deprication. That girl cares about you more than any sane person should. I knew shit was real when Panam of all people reached out to me."

Rogue's expression softened, a frown tugging at her face as she placed a hand on his arm.

"You've miraculously got another shot at life. Don't waste it making the same mistakes, Johnny."

She sighed.

"Don't leave it til it's too late this time."

Johnny knew she was talking about them, about what they had, or more accurately didn't have. How he'd never let her in completely, how the only time he'd been brave enough to confess how he really felt for her was fifty years after the fact, using V's body like a goddamn shield and a fucking coward. He wasn't surprised she'd rejected him.

He imagined V in fifty years time, imagined her happy with someone else because he couldn't get his fuckin' act together, imagined V smiling at them the way she smiled for _him_ and his blood boiled. He'd never wanted to put a bullet in a figment of his own imagination more than that moment.

He realised that if he didn't do this right now, that figment wouldn't just be a figment, it would become his reality. V would slip through his fingers and it would all be his own damn fault.

He knew he had changed, but would it be _enough_?

"You're right. I just, fuck. I'm not good at this shit."

He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. He'd had a taste of life with V and goddamnit he wanted more, he wanted to do this right.

"And for what it's worth, I'm sorry, Rogue."

Rogue squeezed his arm gently.

"I know, Johnny. You need to let V decide what she wants. Don't take that choice from her."

Johnny pushed the remaing dredges of unease down into the recesses of his core. If Rogue was willing to route for him and V, well, shit.

His ruminating was far from finished, but a spark of hope was ignited in the glum recesses of his mind, and he headed backstage to finish what he started.

**Author's Note:**

> Now that this is published on AO3, I just want to add a shoutout to the lovely EurodynesAss and ADaughterOfColdharbour for their lovely words of encouragement. Their writing is absolutely beautiful, so if you're still thirstin' for some Cyberpunk smut, slow burn and fluff, go check them out!
> 
> \- 
> 
> Stay tuned for upcoming chapters <3


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